one, two, buckle my shoe

Part One

Infertility - now that's a hard one to deal with. Ever since I was a little girl all I wanted is to be a mommy. I didn't plan on going to college because I was going to be a Stay at Home Mommy. I was going to be the mommy who helped out in the classroom. The mommy who always had fresh home made cookies in the cookie jar. I was going to have a Cape Cod house with a white picket fence and all that went with it. When I married, my new hubby felt the same way about having children. We started trying to conceive right away.

Reality hit after I was married about two years and had failed to conceive. I decided I had better plan an alternative course for the rest of my life, the mommy/baby thing might not work out.

A friend of mine informed me that she was going to go to nursing school. I didn't think I had enough intelligence to be a nurse so I thought I might take a CNA course - Certified Nurses Aide. I was already working as a nurses aide at a nursing home. Back in those days a certificate wasn't required, but it was desirable because you could earn a few cents more an hour if you were certified. The instructor for the CNA class was also the instructor for the "Nursing Fundamentals" class that was the first class in the nursing program at the local community college. I passed with flying colors. The instructor approached me at the end of the course and encouraged me to continue my education to become a nurse. Her faith in me was the impetus I needed to spur me on in my education. She made such a difference in my life. Becoming a nurse has changed my life.

So, off to nursing school for me. Hubby and I were still trying to conceive. People told us we were trying too hard. I kept wondering, "How can you try too hard?" We went from Dr. to Dr. searching for one who could help us get pregnant. We heard the same story from all of them - both Hubby and I were infertile and it would never happen. It was Dr. #5 who laid it on the line. Yes, he said, Hubby and I were both infertile, but it wasn't hopeless. Hubby's sperm count was low, but there were a few there and it only takes one. I wasn't ovulating, but that might be remedied by my losing weight.

That's when I went on (Drum Roll, please) The Fertility Diet. I was convinced that if I lost weight I would ovulate and maybe, just maybe, I would get pregnant. I was eating less than 900 calories a day. I know, you're thinking - that's not safe! And you are right. I passed out in a store one time because of malnutrition. I was taking vitamins and supplements but 900 calories a day! No wonder I was malnourished. And I was exercising an hour a day. All in an effort to conceive. I reluctantly increased my calorie intake to 1200 a day.

It had been five years since we started trying to conceive when we decided it was time to consider adoption. We hadn't given up on getting pregnant, we were just exploring our options.

part 2 to follow